You say I’m on a crusade and that I’m too in your face, but have you ever even thought about why I say what I say? Maybe I do post too much. Maybe Im a little bit intolerant of people who’s views are different than mine, but have you ever stopped to wonder why? Did you ever think that maybe I post so much because I’m trying to convince myself that there’s still hope for this whole church thing, or that it’s the only thing keeping me from walking away from it all? Did you ever think that maybe I have a dog in this fight because it affects me personally? Have you ever even thought that being gay and being Christian really is a fight just to be seen as equal and that in many ways it’s similar to being in an abusive relationship with someone you love. It’s like being with someone who says they love you back but demands that you change something at the very core of who you are, and if you don’t it threatens to take that love away and demonize you for it. Have you ever thought that leaving Celebrate Recovery tore me apart because I thought I’d finally found a faith community where I could be loved and accepted for who I am and then had that stripped away just as I was starting to really believe it. Do you know about the years that I prayed for God to change me and that I hated myself every minute when I didn’t? Do you know how terrified I was to tell anyone the pain that I was going through, even you? Do you know that I’m scared still writing this letter even now, or that I once dreamed of being a pastor and now I tense up every time I meet someone new when find out they’re a Christian? Do you know how much your opinion means to me? I don’t think you do, but I still love you.
– Cody Burton.